Orphan Sunday

"Do the kids have any idea what they are giving up?!"
Aaron and I have asked ourselves that question; friends have asked us that question; Ukrainian social workers have asked.  The answer is "no".  They have no idea the life, blessings, security, unconditional love, and future that they are giving up.  They have no idea how the rejection of our free offer will affect them for the rest of their lives.  All they know is the fear, or the temporary freedom that they look forward to, or the comfort of the life that they know (it doesn't matter that it isn't a great life; it is what they know). 
Aaron and I did not enter into the adoption process because we desired to have more kids.  We entered into this because God laid a nine year old boy on my husband's heart and he couldn't shake it.  We came back to do this again, not because we were determined to bring a child into our home, but because we have grown to understand what adoption means, and we have a calling to tangibly live it out (ignore my run-on).  Adoption is the perfect picture of our salvation. 
"But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son,born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive adoption as sons."  Romans 4:4-5
He offered us, not because of anything that we had done, adoption as sons!  To receive life, blessings, security, unconditional love, and an eternal future.  How amazing is that?!
Yet, this gift is rejected every day.  Every day people choose to live the life they know out of a false sense of freedom or a fear of the unknown. 
We aren't sure in what direction we will move, or when our next step will be.  But, we will continue to walk this road until we are led somewhere else.  Rejection hurts; it doesn't make sense, but we will continue this race no matter where the finish line is.

1 Peter 2:20-21

I'm gonna take a couple of more minutes to talk a little more about how awesome our God is!  A couple of thousand years ago, He sent His only Son to this earth.  That Son came to live on this fallen earth with the sole purpose to suffer, be rejected and die so that we may know life.  He has offered this free gift to this world, and He is continually rejected.  Rejection of forgiveness, peace, love and eternal life.  He has done all of this for us, so why shouldn't we be willing to sacrifice the little that we have, suffer pains for a short while in this life, and be rejected by a few (not all of mankind). 
That leads me to more details...details of our day. 
We got to spend the afternoon with Yana, a social worker, and Mira (an amazing lady who graciously served as our translator...#14).  We walked, talked, ate, looked at pictures...overall, a good day.  Yana is a very sweet natured girl, and we enjoyed our time with her very much.  Throughout the day, we found out that she has a grandmother and adult sister that live in Chernigiv that she has a relationship with (the child department did not mention either one of the facts, but then again, they also told us they called and told her we were coming).  Later this afternoon we got a call and found out that Yana did not want to leave Ukraine because she didn't want to leave them. 
We've been here before.  The hurt is different this time, but it still hurts.
I do want to make it clear that neither Aaron or I doubt that each step, each flight, each child that we have spent time with have  not been in God's exact will.  I will reiterate that He has been so gracious throughout this whole process to show us that we are right where He wants us.  This is now part of our story, and we know that somehow this will be used for His glory.

                                                                Yana: God is Gracious

another child from Ukraine to pray for

Pics!!

"God is Gracious"

I will get to the details soon, but you are going to have to give me a paragraph (or two) to go on for a minute about how awesome our God is!  As of today, Aaron and I have met 13 people in this country that we can count as friends.  A country, that 5 years ago, I'm pretty sure I couldn't locate on map.  13 people who God has placed in our lives to help us out in some way!  Some have given a place to stay, some rides to countless places, dinners in their home, encouragement when desperately needed, and sometimes just laughter (also when desperately needed). Our lawyers, Ivan and Dima, have gone far and above what I expect any lawyers to do for their clients; all because they have a heart for the orphans of this country.  Aaron and I have been beyond blessed by the servant heart of every one of these 13 people!
In addition to this, God has so clearly shown His hand during this entire process.  So clearly that we haven't once had to question if we were acting out of our will or if we were still walking in the direction He would have us go.  That leads me to the details...(WARNING: this could get long)
I wrote briefly on Wednesday about our morning in the Child Department.  I'll go more in depth so I can paint a clear picture.  About 50 minutes into this meeting (we only have an hour), Aaron and I were frustrated (and honestly, a little bit panicky).  Neither one of us had heard angels singing from the heavens or a light beaming down on the perfect child for our family.  Around this time I saw the picture of a little girl that was around the age that we were looking for (8-10); grasping for something I pulled her sheet.  One of the ladies from the CD, then, brought out two more girl's sheets from the back room.  One of the girls was 13...not exactly what we were looking for, but I think it's pretty obvious at this point that we are pretty flexible.  They were letting us know that our time was almost up.  If we left this appointment without a selection, we were going to have to wait for at least another week for another appt.  Aaron continued to bring back up the 13 year old, and I agreed that we should add her to the 10 year old little girl to make a call to their orphanage. Neither one of the girls orphanages answered since it was so late in the day.  We were told that they would call both in the morning and we actually would have until 10 am the next morning to make a final decision.  As soon as Aaron and I left the pressure cooker, we both knew that we were going to go with the 13 year old (even without the angel's song).  Strangely enough, when they called us the next morning, the 10 year old wasn't even mentioned.
That night we looked up the meaning of her name: Yana "God is gracious"...we were sold.
Aaron called Doug (one of our very important 13) to see if he could help us out on travel and living arrangements in the town were Yana's orphanage is.  Out of "all of the children in Ukraine", we happened to pick one that is a region that Doug knows very well.  He put us in contact with some missionaries that he knew in Chernigiv.  Aaron called Conner (he and his wife are our newest #'s to the 13), who has never met us or know anything about us and he was able to arrange an apartment for us and picked us after our visit with Yana this morning and spent his whole day helping us out. 
The visit itself was short, but nice.  We are pretty sure that, even though we were led to believe she had been told, Yana was blind-sided by our appearance and desire to adopt her.  She was very sweet, but still shy during the meeting.  She talked to us a bit, looked at our pictures and said she would like to see us this weekend, but would like a little time to think about her decision. 'She asked if she could take the picture album with her (yea!). We will get to spend the day with her tomorrow and should get to go on a short excursion. 
After Conner picked us up, we learned that he actually visits that orphanage weekly.  On top of that, he was pretty sure he knew Yana and had some pictures of her on his computer.  He did...and she has been coming to their Bible club for years!  "All the kids in Ukraine" and we are sitting in the living room of a family, looking at the pictures (I'll post some tomorrow) of a precious 13 year old girl that they have been pouring into for years! 
Awesome...just awesome!

Appointment #2

We had our appointment at the child department today.  I can't even begin to describe what it is like in that room for 1 hour.  "1 hour to look at every child in Ukraine," as Aaron says.  We should be going to the orphanage on Friday.  We are cautiously optimistic, but we are also caustiously withholding all of the specifics until we have definite answers.  Having been through this before, we want to hold off on giving info about "her" until we know that things are a "go"!  Thanks for being patient!

Aaron at one of our mastered metro stations

Aaron and Ivan waiting for our appointment...don't they look intense?!

In the church outside of the child department...we lit a candle and said a prayer (not really, but pretend!)

 

 

 

 

 

Uneventful Eventful Day

We had a great day.  We slept the entire first half (well, I did because "some of us have errands to run), went to the child department to get our appointment date (Wednesday @ 3!), officially mastered the metro, got lost on the dark streets of the East Bank of Ukraine, found our way back to where we were supposed to be, had a great dinner with Ivan and Maggie (our lawyer and his American wife), and finally came home and watched BBC worldwide news (cause it's the only thing in English).  It was a great start to a great trip!  Not much more news for now, but we should know more after our appointment on Wednesday.

Familiarity

I am gaining a familiarity to the foreignness of this country.  I still don't understand a thing that is said and still can't read a single sign, but I am starting to distinguish one unknown from another!  It takes a lot of the uneasiness away that you can feel when you are out of your element. 
Our flight went very smoothly, getting to our apartment went very smoothly...I'm going to call this a pattern (can you call two things a pattern?).  We are supposed to check in with the child department tomorrow, so we should know more after that.  Aaron and I are completely blown away by the support that we have had through this whole experience; each one of your words and prayers to us and for us have meant so much as we all watch God work together!

Going Back!

Aaron and I are extremely excited to say that we will be leaving on Saturday to return to Ukraine!  I think that we are as completely shocked as anyone would be at our excitement.  It didn't come immediately and it hasn't taken away our loss of the boys that I think we will always feel, but it is such a welcome emotion!  We have both been praying for direction (and "thank you" to everyone who was praying along side us) and God was faithful to answer.  When we came home last Sunday, we were both tired, hurting, and missing our boys.  It seemed an impossible task to return so soon.  As the days progressed, however, we both knew that our journey was not to end here.  Even though it was done through Artyom and Vlad (who will always be a part of our story and in our hears), God has placed opened a place in our hearts for adoption.  We are returning with no road map and no clue of the outcome, and we are excited!  This should be fun!

The Race Set Before Us

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
                                            Heb. 12:1

Tolic (older and younger), Sasha, Artyom (another one), Nastia, Luba, Yaroslav, Katya, Nadia, Zhenya, Marina, Alex, Dima and countless other kids that I either didn't remember names or never could pronounce...all of these kids affected me during our time at the orphanage; some in good ways, some in not so good ways.  In the end, whatever we are called to do, I will never be the same.  Some my heart hurts for, others inspire me at their strength and still others lead me to pray for them even when I don't understand their actions.  This place is not what God intended.  These kids shouldn't be in this place; this place of survival.  I urge you to pray for this orphanage and for the many others in Ukraine.  Also, for the many people that we have met along the way that have made it their life's mission to make a change here.  Daniel and Janna Ross are two of the missionaries that visit these kids weekly among the countless other ways they are serving this country.  They have a great blog that you can follow their story:
http://rossinukraine.blogspot.com/

Unfortunately, we haven't reached any decisions yet.  We are still patiently waiting on God to direct us in the way He would have us go.  Whatever the direction, we will finish this race strong!

Home is nice.  I don't think that my bed has ever felt this comfortable!  We got home on Sunday, and Aaron and I took the boys an overnight trip to the woods Monday night.  We thought we needed to get away and reconnect and laugh a little.  I did not, however, intend for the guys (Aaron included) to become involved in a cow patty war, but the joyous laughter may have made it worth it!  

The less offensive game, "cow patty baseball"

Coming Home

Aaron and I are leaving in the morning at 6:30 in the morning.  We will get to DFW at 1:30 on Sunday.  We are both ready to be home...and really ready to see the boys.  Without going into a whole lesson about Ukrainian adoption process (mainly cause I don't fully understand it), I will explain a little about our next step.  We actually have no idea what our next step is going to be, but we are prepared for what it could be!  Luckily, a two-way flight was cheaper than a one-way, so we have a return ticket for Ukraine in two weeks.  Two weeks is around the time that we could get our next appointment date with the child department to look at more children.  Understand that Aaron and I have prayed for these children for so long and felt as if they were ours already, so starting from scratch seems totally overwhelming right now.  We really need to get home and see Trent and Cal, rest and just be still and listen to what God wants for us to do next.  God has been so faithful during this whole process (but especially during the last two weeks) to confirm to us that we were walking in His will. That fact alone has been the biggest comfort during this loss. 
I cannot express to everyone how much your prayers and encouraging words have meant to us.  We know that whatever the outcome, God will use this in our life.  For that we are thankful! Thank you all again!

With a Heavy Heart...

The boys have officially told us "No".  Aaron and I are broken-hearted right now and our emotions are pretty raw.  We think that it was a combo of their fear and major pressure from some of the orphanage teachers and friends that kept them from making the decision to come to America. The strangeness of the finality of something that has been in our lives for over two years is hitting us hard.  Everyone was as shocked as we were yesterday; we had to wait another 2 hours at the orphanage because the social worker didn't have a form for rejection with her.  She and one of the directors had to make one up.  As Aaron Campbell (a preacher at our church) said a few weeks ago, "Aren't we glad we don't have a God that we can understand?!"  While it's true that we don't understand the path that He is leading us on, we know that He has led us here.  We know that we aren't here by accident, and we are praying that we are able to see His plan for us through the pain that our hearts are feeling right now. 
To say that we have been on an emotional roller coaster does not even begin to cover what we are feeling (I hate roller coasters, btw). Then again, roller coasters that don't move aren't very fun:

A 14 Year old Boy

It all comes down to tomorrow...2 years of praying for these boy's hearts (well, 1 for Vlad, but only cause we found out about him late) will culminate tomorrow.  4 days since last Friday have been spent at the orphanage; trying to calm the fears that they so obviously have.  Tomorrow (Thursday) the boys will either commit to being adopted or reject our request.  Basically, the future of a 14 year old boy and an 11 year old boy are in the hands of a 14 year old boy.  A 14 year old boy who has lived in an orphanage for the past 7 years and had to grow up way too fast.  The emotional tiredness at the end of the day is something that I have never experienced.  Not only the weight of the adoption, but spending time with many of the kids...it's hard.  So many faces, so many stories, so many heartaches.  We were there with the missionaries today; I don't know how they do it week in and week out. 
I'm cold, I'm tired and, if my mind was not consumed with this adoption 99% of the time, I would be going crazy missing Trent and Cal.  Thank you all for the prayers; they are carrying us through!

10% (someday I'll explain)

And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. 
                Philippians 4:14

These haven't been the easiest three days of my life, but God has kept true to this promise.  Yesterday, I asked myself why I was feeling so calm in the midst of so many unknowns, missing home, and fighting Ukrainian women on a rickety bus from Nizhyn to Komarivka.  God reminded me that I don't have to understand the peace...that's why it says, "surpasses all comprehension."  I am truly blessed to be given such an amazing chance to experience the peace of God!
I could write a book about all of the things that we have done and seen the this weekend, so I will just give the highlights.  We met with the boys, Dima, a translator, social worker, and the orphanage director on Friday.  Eight people in a room the size of a small bedroom for almost three hours; stressful to say the least!  We learned a lot about the boys, but I think they just wanted to go outside and play instead of being interrogated by six adults.  They agreed that it would be fine for us to come back on Saturday to hangout in a more relaxed setting.  Progress!

The orphanage has school on Saturday (enough reason for me to want to leave, right there!) so we were told not to come until after 3.  Aaron and I spent the day being shown around Nizhyn by our new translator, Nadia.  She is a student at the university there and volunteers at the church where we are staying.  It is charming city that is rich in history and beautiful to walk around.  We then took a hour ride to Komarivka on a bus that looked as old as St. Sophia's cathedral.  Luckily, we got on at the first stop and had a seat because by the time we got on the highway there were people standing in the aisle crammed in like sardines!  I guess the close quarters can cause tension because, even though I have no idea what they were saying, there was quite a heated "discussion" between a couple of the passengers. 

At the orphanage, the boys came out immediately and were ready to play.  More progress!  Artyom wanted to race me because I had told him if he let me come back I would wear tennis shoes and race him.  Vlad says he's the fasted in the orphanage.  I can't speak for all of the kids, but of the 5 or so I raced, he was the fastest.  I fell in about 4 or 5 place.  I need to be clear that these were 5 separate races.  This is important because the pain I feel today is that of many races, not just one with lots of people (which I now realize would have been a smarter way to race a bunch of kids).  In the end, I think I had it easier than Aaron.  He played soccer with Vlad for about 3 hours straight!  In the end, despite the aches and pains that Aaron and I feel today, it was a good day.  We should go back on Monday when the kids get out of class.  

We went to service this morning at the church where we are staying.  Translated, the church is called "House of Prayer", and it is obvious that is what it is.  Even with the language difference we could see that this church is alive and active for the body of Christ.  As the pastor told us, "We all have one Father; no matter the language" (this was right before he asked Aaron if he wanted to preach tonight...he's up in our room hiding right now).  They have served us so graciously and been the body of Christ to two out of place foreigners in a way that will leave me humbled for a lifetime!

We have 7 more days to spend with the boys before we ask for their decision.  Please pray for their hearts this week.

outside of Nadia's university

Nadia, Aaron, Aaron (an American staying at the church who will be teaching English at the orphanage for a couple of months), and I at a museum in town

our bus out of town

the magic of iphone...breaks all language barriers

he wanted his pic in the tree

the House of Prayer

 

 

this isn't a great picture, but it is a still shot of a video of Vlad.  It was so good to see that smile all day long!

Headed to Komarivka

So, if you've been saving your prayers, now's the time to use them!  We go with our lawyer and a social worker tomorrow to meet with the boys and with the director of the orphanage.  There are a lot of different aspects to this visit that all need to work together!  Please pray specifically for our lawyer, Dima; the social worker assigned by the court; the boys, Artyom and Vlad (especially); and the orphanage director.  Aaron and I will be leaving Kiev in the morning around 6:30 and we aren't sure when we will be back.  We will be staying near the village at least through the weekend so that we can spend as much time with the boys as possible.  We hope to calm as many fears as we can and start to build a lasting relationship with each of them.  I may not be able to update for awhile, since I have no idea what the Internet situation will be like where we are staying.  All I know at this point from Doug (the missionary friend that lives in Smile House) is that it will be a "true culture experience".  Good thing I'm always up for an adventure!

Here are some pics from our day around Kiev:

Outside of St. Sophia's cathedral from the 11th century

Group of Ukrainian service men getting their picture taken

Aaron the very steep street that we had to walk up to get to the Child Department

just because everyone deserves to see a unicorn car once in their lives

Everyone should check out the amazing ministry that Karen Springs has started in Ukraine.  She runs a hospitality house for families that are adopting from Ukraine.  We have stayed here since we arrived and it has been such a blessing!http://hospitalityhousekiev.blogspot.com/

Thanks so much Karen!

A Big Wednesday!

Sorry about the lack of posting, but I think that I may have finally caught up with the time difference and the lack of sleep from our trip here.  I hope so, anyway, since I slept from 10 pm last night until 11 am this morning! 

We had a great day yesterday!  We had our appointment with the Child Department at 10 am.  We met our lawyer at 9 just to go over our "strategy".  That made me a little nervous because I had no idea that we were doing anything that would require any type of pre-planning!  I think that Ivan was just taking precaution because everything went really smooth.  After looking through pictures of about 12 different kids, we saw our boys.  I will never cease to be amazed at the way those boy's pictures can take my breath away.  Something about seeing them in a small, official Ukrainian office made the effect even more extreme!  We got the approval to visit them and will pick up our official paperwork today at 4 pm.  Friday morning we leave at 7 am for the orphanage. 



Aaron and our lawyer, Ivan, in front of the Child Department.

He has been an amazing help!  We couldn't have done it without him

 

 

On our way back to our apartment, we passed a group of guys that were obviously Americans (Aaron and Ivan both say that it is obvious that we are foreigners, as well, but I don't believe them).  Aaron said, "How are y'all?"  and they stopped us immediately because they knew we were Texans.  After talking to them for a bit, we found out that they were a group of singing men on a tour around different churches of the world.  Stranger still than finding a group of Texans in Ukraine, was the fact that one of the men happened to be from our neighborhood in our small town of 400 people.  I shake my head every time I think about the coincidence!

Later in the afternoon,  Aaron and went with a friend of his, Alfred, to see Smile House.  Smile House is where our whole journey began.  This is the house that Aaron started working on about 4 years ago that lead him to Ukraine and eventually, Artyom. 



Outside of Smile House

 

Aaron trying his hardest to pick me an apple out of the orchard

 

Well, of course I was going to eat it after all his hard effort!

 

 

We finished our day off with my first ride on a Ukrainian subway.  We did pretty darn well, if I don't say so myself!  I don't have pictures because I was trying to blend in as well as possible, since the guys tell me we stick out like sore thumbs.  I thought the shirt that said "Ukraine" would tell everyone that I belong here!

At Last!

I really don't think that I am cut out for international travel.  I am totally wiped out.  I did sleep for 8 hours last night before I attempted to write anything, so that I could make sense of our travel story. 
As, I mentioned earlier, I was worried about our flight with American Airlines.  That was unfounded because everything went great.  When we boarded the plane, they announced that they were having some mechanical issues with the door, which I just knew meant we would be on the runway for at least 3 hours.  10 minutes later we were in the air on the way to Chicago.  That was the last easy flight. 
We arrived in Chicago with the news that our flight had been delayed to Warsaw, but they gave us food vouchers for the airport.  Waving free money in front of my face temporarily made me forget about the troubles that a delayed flight can cause.  We ate a gyro in the international terminal, which has a feeling of already being out of the country.  I have never known exactly how to say "gyro", but they have always been one of my favorites.  They usually have a picture on menus, so I just point and say, "I want that".  Bellies full with free food, we headed through security and went to sit at our gate where we spent the next 6 hours watching people pass back and forth in front of us.  It was at this point that I was ready to hop back on a plane and head back to DFW.  Luckily, I am married to the "unphasable" man.  At 9:15 we finally left Chicago and settled in for our overnight flight.  Now, Aaron can sleep through anything, but I on the other hand, could not manage to sleep with the large Polish man snoring loudly for 8 hours of our 9 hour flight.  I went over this many times through the night, and I came up with a couple of solutions.  Could the flight attendants not hear him?  Wouldn't it be the right thing to do to wake him up for the sake of all the other passengers on the plane (except for those rock sleepers like Aaron).  Surely, he knows he snores like a freight train, maybe he should drink coffee all night to stay awake.  I think that would be the right thing to do, but that's coming from a tired, cranky traveler and he got a full nights rest. 
Because our flight to Warsaw was delayed, we missed our flight to Kiev.  We ended up in a huddle of people trying to find out how get new flights.  It was a mess (fyi, even when English isn't your first language, people learn the words that get things done!), and we knew there was a flight leaving for Kiev in an hour. Unfortunaltly, people at the front were syaing they had been in line(line is a loose term cause it was not a line) for 3 hours.  Just in the knick of time, an employee asked for people flying to Kiev, and we pushed our way to the front and got our ticket to the boarding plane. 
Even amid the chaos, I had a peace and knew that God's timing would prevail.  We have a whole 24 hours in Kiev before our appointment date tomorrow (10:30 am Kiev time).  I'll let everyone know how it goes!
Looking over this, it may be long and boring.  My quick thinking, witty brain is still on Texas time.  It'll get better!

Zero Hour

Well, the day has almost arrived!  We leave tomorrow at 12:30. Our flight is on American Airlines to Chicago, but as Trent so graciously reminded me as I was worrying about delays, "You know you can just pray about that, right?"  So many things are unsure right now, but God has been so good to grant Aaron I so much peace concerning all aspects of these final days of adoption.  We are so excited to be able to assist in telling an amazing God story!
My awesome cousin, Rachel Pruitt, had the great idea of coming up with "30 days of prayer for the Alfreds".   I attached it, so that anyone that is willing to journey with us through pray is able.  We appreciate all of the prayers that we have received through this whole process, and know that they have carried us through until now and will continue until everything is complete! (Well, I was going to attach it, but apparently I don't know how...I do, however, know copy and paste!)

30 Days of Prayer for the Alfreds

As the Alfreds spend the next 30 days on the final leg of their adoption journey, let’s commit to covering them in prayer Sept. 30-Oct. 30.  Below are some requests that you might choose to pray for the Alfred family.

1.  Pray for their connecting flight times to go smoothly.

2.  Pray for travel safety on the roads in Ukraine…there are lots of wrecks all the time & they will be making lots of road trips.

3.  Pray that Tara and Aaron will adjust to the time change quickly.

4.  Pray for quick bonding with Artyom & Vlad when they get to see them and that A & V will realize that they are loved and wanted….pray that God will calm A & V’s fears (this is a scary change for them, too!)

5.  Pray for clear guidance on their travel schedule…confirmation at the time where they need to stay and when or if they should return to the states and then go back to Ukraine at the end of the month (there are lots of “unknowns” and schedules/plans that are “up in the air”.)

6.  Pray for Trent & Cal …for their peace and safety while their parents are away, and that God will be preparing their hearts for the upcoming changes in their lives.

7.  Pray for God’s perfect peace for Tara & Aaron as they are away from Trent & Cal for so long.

8.  Pray for the heart of the judge, that he will be favorable toward adoption.

9.  Pray that the court translator will be sympathetic to adoption (their lawyer will not be allowed in the courtroom, so the translator is their only mediator between them and the judge.)

10.  Pray for Tara and Aaron to have wisdom & clarity in knowing how to answer the questions in court.

11.  Pray that their case would be a testimony to all those involved (judge, officials, translators, etc…)

12.  Pray for protection of their health while in Ukraine – (stress level, sleep & eat well, stay healthy.)

13.  Pray for Angel (Tara’s sister in law) as she adjusts to a new schedule and takes care of Cal & Trent while they are gone.

14.  Pray for protected health for Trent & Cal while Tara & Aaron are in the Ukraine.

15.  Pray for the Ukranian lawyer who has been helping Tara & Aaron and has now decided to adopt…pray they will be an encouragement to each other.

16.  Pray that Tara & Aaron can be an encouragement to the missionaries who are there in the Ukraine (Tara & Aaron may be staying with them part of the time.)

17.  Pray for direction, peace, and very clear leading over any decisions that they may have to make quickly.

18.   Pray for their ability to communicate with their Ukranian children, while they are there and on the return trip home.

19.  Pray for quick adjustment for the children when they arrive in the States.

20.  Pray for quick bonding between Cal & Trent and their new siblings.

21.   Pray for Cal & Trent as they adjust to their family completely changing.

22.  Pray that Tara & Aaron will be very sensitive to God’s leading throughout this process and that God will fill them with wisdom.

Thanks Rach!

It's Official!

We received our Letter of Invitation from Ukraine today!!  We leave on the 30th of September and get to see our boys on October 30th!  I knew it was coming, but seeing it in black and white changes everything!  I am so excited and nervous that I can't seem to write a sentence without an exclamation mark!  Thanks for all of the prayers, the gifts and constant encouragement! 
Now that things are rolling, it is my goal to keep this current and let everyone know what is going on (It is my goal; meaning I'm going to try...).

Saying Goodbye

This is our family.  The family that we have known for almost 15 years (Happy 15th to Trent on Friday!). 

    I love so many things about our family.  We work really well together.  We get each other's sarcasm  awesome sense of humor, we are very open with each other, and in general, we just enjoy spending time together.  Since getting word last Thursday that we have received our approval from the child department in Ukraine, a reality has hit Aaron and I pretty hard.  We won't get the exact date until the end of the week, but they told us to expect to be in Ukraine around the end of September.  The end of September!  That leaves us about 3 weeks.  When Aaron and I get on that plane and say goodbye to the boys, we are saying goodbye to the family that we have been up until this point. 
    We know that we are doing what God has called us to do, and the sadness that we are feeling in no way takes away from the excitement that we have knowing that we are about to get our boys!  We can't wait to start making a new family with new dynamics with our new family!  But as we wait for these final steps, we are relishing every minute we can as we say goodbye to what we have cherished for so many years.

Peace that Passes

This trip was about peace.  Aaron and I really wanted to know what we were supposed to do about Vlad, and we expected answers.  We figured one of two things would happen; either Vlad would completely change his mind, or he would continue to say "no".  We were prepared to accept either outcome.  We did not expect to see Vlad walk out of the doors of the orphanage and receive our answer before he said a word.  As soon as we saw his blue eyes, Aaron and I both fell in love.  We knew without a doubt that we were looking at our son. 
I hesitate to write about everything that happened in the 5 1/2 hours we spent with the boys at the orphanage.  From outside appearance, we didn't make much headway with Vlad.  However, in our hearts we know big changes happened.  The day started out without him really even wanting to be around us at all and stayed completely on the outside of all of the action.  He wouldn't take the gifts we bought him, turned his head every time I tried to take a picture, and basically did everything to shut us out.  By the end of the day, he was playing soccer with Aaron (silently, but we take small victories), he was sitting beside me and looking at pictures, and even posed for a picture (with his arms uncrossed!).  We came to receive peace, and that is exactly what we got.  Vlad may not be ready to accept it yet, but he will be an Alfred soon!
His brother is another story all together.  That boy is a ball of fun and energy!  Artyom is constantly ready for action and steals the show.  He has such an open and happy personality, but I can already see that he is going to keep my hands full! 
We left Ukraine with excitement and eagerness to bring these two precious brothers home.
Sorry about the delay, but internet in our hotel was unreliable at best!

 Vlad (in black) at the beginning of the day.  He turned his head as soon as the camera came out.

 Vlad at the end of the day!  You may not be able to see it, but that is, in fact, the beginning of a smile.

 Monkey in a tree!

He was eating ALL day!

From Ukraine with Love

We arrived in Ukraine on time and without much incident!  Our first night's sleep was amazing!  Considering we had been up for 30 straight hours, I am not sure either one of us even turned over in our sleep.  It is about 9:00 on Friday morning, and Aaron and I are eating breakfast before we meet our lawyer and leave for the orphanage. 
Here are a few things I have learned in the 20 or so hours that I have spent in Ukraine:
1. People cut in line.  It seems to be an accepted practice, and no one but Aaron and I even appear to notice.
2. You know the B.O. in the bathroom is bad when it, up until that point, it WAS the worst smell I have encountered in bathroom.
3. Lanes on the highway are merely a suggestion.  (We were thankful that God has provided us with a driver that knows this and doesn't seem to be phased by it)
4. You can get lost really quick on your own in a country where you can't read the street signs.
5.  Aaron stays pretty calm when getting lost in a foreign country.
6. 26 hours of no sleep and a fifth floor apartment can make you get on an elevator that is smaller and more precarious looking than normal circumstances would allow.
7. Sidewalks double as parking lots...watch out!
8.  The Ukrainian military men look like extras from a Juan Claude Van Dam movie.
9.  Just because someone charges you to use a public restroom does not mean they are selling something anyone would want to buy.
10.  Don't judge too fast what the worst smell in a bathroom could be because apparently in Ukraine, they charge to let you smell the worst!

Well, we are off!

Can't Wait!

The countdown has begun!  Aaron and I leave in five days for Ukraine to meet  the boys!  I can't explain how I am feeling because honestly, I can't tell you if I am super excited or scared beyond sanity.  I think it is a mixture of both, and that makes for some very interesting mood swings!  Our flight leaves Wednesday at 3:45 pm Texas time and we arrive in Kiev on Thursday at 1:10 Ukraine time.  Hopefully my nerves about the trip to the orphanage will eclipse my fear of flying. 
Trent and I made a trip to Austin yesterday to get "most" of our papers apostilled.  There were a couple of minor snags, but everything seems to have worked out fine in the end.  We will hand deliver all of our paperwork to our lawyers in Kiev.  The official translation has been ordered already because we scanned all of our dossier papers last week.  We should have some sort of date estimate sometime in the next couple of weeks (that was as vague as I could make it).
I can't wait to post pics of the trip!

About half of the papers we took to Austin

Trent in front of the Capitol

Dreaded "NO"

But the Lord's plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken.  Ps 33:11

We are trying to remember this as a family right now.  We received news last week that Vlad has said "no" to being adopted.  The only real reason that they could get out of him was that he didn't want to leave Ukraine.  That is hard to hear when we know the reality of what Ukraine has to offer an orphaned child that is too old for the system (which he will be in about 1-2 years).  Aaron and I were already planning on making a trip to Ukraine to meet with the boys to help with any fears and questions that they may have.  We are still planning on going, and praying that it makes a difference.  We are walking a very fine line here.  We want him to choose on his own to be apart of our family.  His age is a tricky thing.  He is old enough to legally make the decision, and we don't want to push so much that he feels like he was pressured.  That could lead to problems later on.  On the other hand, it is very hard leaving this decision in the hands of a child (because that is what he is)!  We know that God's plan for these boys will prevail.  We leave on May 9, and we desperately need prayers!

On a happier note, we received some awesome pictures of Artyom last week

Introducing Vlad!

We finally have a picture!  These pictures were taken after the boys were given the letter about the adoption.  I am going to let you guess which one immediately said "yes" and was "joyful" about the idea of joining our family.  The other seems to be a little more reserved, and has remained "silent about being adopted" (our lawyer's words).  We don't see this as bad news. The older a child is, the more they will have to process and think about.  Remember also, that Artyom has met Aaron and has received correspondence and gifts from our family.  This is the first time that Vlad has heard anything about us.
This is a huge decision that he has to come to on his own.  We are praying that God will stir his heart to desire to be apart of our family and calm any fears and reservations that he may have.  I wish that we could look into his eyes and communicate the love that we all already feel for him. 
I hope it wasn't the dust....

Jinx is real!

So, I haven't written in a little bit because I have been busy redoing EVERY single piece of paper for our dossier to be prepared and ready.  I don't know if this is normal or just me jinxing myself in an earlier post, but it is starting to get comical.  We e-mailed our lawyer in Ukraine all of our paperwork, just to make sure everything was in order before we put it in the mail.  Good thing!  The list of corrections he sent back was daunting; dates wrong on this, names wrong on that, stamp wrong on the other one....(you get the point).  We have now gotten our fingerprints 3 times!  Honestly, aren't they on file somewhere after 1 time?  Also, that moment in the DPS office years ago when I changed my name and the one many years later at the passport office have both come back to haunt me.  Tara Leigh Alfred and Tara Trent Alfred are not necessarily the same person, and Ukraine will not be the one to be fooled!  Hopefully, we can get all of this in order soon.
On a more exciting note, Our lawyer should be leaving in just a few hours to drive to the orphanage to give the boys the letter that Aaron and I finally wrote.  We did change a couple of things, but it pretty much went like I predicted:  "Wanna be our kids?" 
We sent lots of pictures of the family, dogs, and the house.  I don't know why I stressed so much, but I cleaned forever before taking those pics!  I am pretty sure Artyom and Vlad won't be discussing it and say, "I would like to have a family, but did you see the dust on that coffee table?  We should probably pass"

Oh yeah, we no longer have a pink wall.  Two trips to the paint store and three coats later, we have 1 "flaming red hot" wall!

We have a pink wall

The lady at the paint store assured me that the paint just appeared pink, and that when it was on the wall it would be red.  The lady was wrong.  We have one accent wall in the younger boys' room that needs to be red to match their new bedding.  She told me the color I wanted (flaming hot red) would be too dark.  I would rather a "too dark" wall for the boys than a pink wall.  Pretty sure they would too!  Back to the paint store tomorrow because I haven't secured a "yes" from the boys about the adoption.  If they get wind of a pink wall, we are doomed!

Ummmm.....

We were given the go-ahead today to tell the boys about our plans for their adoption.  Because of their age, we have to ask them if they even want to be adopted.  So as I sit in front of the computer, I have encountered the worst writer's block ever!  How on earth do you start that letter? 

Hi, we were just wondering if you would like to leave the country that you have always known and be apart of our family. 

Love,  A family of strangers and one guy you met once about 1 1/2 years ago.

That doesn't seem to have the appeal that I am looking for.  Back to the drawing board.

That was quick!

After looking back at our homestudy, we realized that the we had been approved for two children ages 4-12.  Since Vlad is most likely 13, we figured that would be a problem.  We called our social worker on Tuesday afternoon, and he said it would be no big deal.  Today (Thursday), we received the revised homestudy in the mail.  We should be able to get that to the USCIS before they process our fingerprints, which we got today.  For once, things are going smoothly (did I just jinx myself?)

The Road We are On

Found this picture on Pinterest.  It was taken of a road in Ukraine by an adoptive parent.  They wrote underneath, "so symbolic of this process".  I totally feel this today.

Decision Made

Monday morning brought crazy interesting news.  Not very many moments have gone by that were not consumed by thoughts of this eighth grade boy and what our role is in his life (or what his role is in our life).  Two verses have played on repeat in my mind trying their best to crowd out all of the other thoughts and fears.  The first verse has been special to our family for a few years and definitely helped lead us to the place we are in right now.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11
God knows the plans he has for us, and he knows the plans he has for Artyom and for Vlad.  We received word from Ukraine that these brothers can not be split up (we didn't feel good with this decision anyway).  So now we were faced with the decision of both or none.  Decision made.  In our hearts, Artyom already belongs to us.  There is no going back on that.  We have had two separate people say to us this week that sometimes God only gives us little bits of His plan at a time, so we aren't totally scared away.  God's plan for this adoption hasn't changed, but the amount of information that we have been allowed to see has. 
So, while I can't change the name of our blog, our mission has changed:  Making Artyom and Vlad Alfreds!
That leads me to the next verse that has kept me going forward.
"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous?  Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."   Joshua 1:9
An older child adoption seemed daunting enough when I was dealing with a 9-10 year old.  Adding a few more years just multiplies the fears and concerns that continue to swirl in my head.  I looked up "dismay" because I felt that put a nice word on my emotions.  "To destroy courage or resolution of by exciting dread or apprehension"...Exactly the opposite of what I have been commanded to do. 
We will continue on....strong and courageous!

"Hello, Bridge"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there."  That is what we naively said when the social worker approved us for two children during our homestudy, "just in case there is a sibling."  Well guess what, we just walked up to that bridge.  And, in my mind it is one of those shaky bridges made only of rotten wooden slats and rope to hold it up.  We received a message today saying that Artyom's last name has been found out, but we should also know that he has a sibling.  Now, many of you that know me know that I have always wanted a daughter.  So here's my chance, right.  Obviously, it's going to be a sweet, little blond girl that I could put bows on and immediately sign up for gymnastics....WRONG! 
This is the message we received: "One other thing that you should know is that Artyom has an older brother, Vlad, he is in the eighth grade. I am not sure about other siblings."
Four boys! Two of which are teenagers!!  To say that I feel overwhelmed seems like the understatement of the year!!!
We know that God has gone before us in this entire situation.  That's why we are going to try to take all of our thoughts and fears out of the equation.  If you read this blog entry, please take a couple seconds to say a prayer of clarity and peace about whatever decision that God would have us make for our family.
I'll keep ya posted!

Big Week--the sequel

After this process being stagnant for so long, it has been exciting having things happen almost every week!  This week we received our biometric (fancy way of saying "fingerprints") appointment from the U.S. government.  We go in on March 8 for our final step before sending our dossier (fancy way of saying "whole heck of a lot of papers") to Ukraine.  Also this week, we made contact with the lawyers in Ukraine who will be serving as our facilitators for the adoption.  They have agreed to take our case, and are going to start the leg work in finding all the available info on Artyom.  Prayers would be appreciated that all of his paperwork is obtainable and quickly found!

New (old) Pic

This picture is kind of amazing.  I spent a lot of time praying this morning that I could have some kind of connection today.  This was sent to Aaron in a facebook message this evening!  It was actually taken this summer after Aaron's trip to Ukraine.  Aaron bought the soccer ball (or football) for Artyom and got the boys a matching one.  Doug (in the picture) is a missionary in Ukraine that works closely with the kids in the orphanage.  Most of the pictures that we have come from him.  It is a real comfort knowing that there is someone there loving on this precious boy when I can't.

  Maybe I am a bit bias, but I think he is pretty darn handsome!

Room for Two!

Cal has been living alone in the big room since Trent moved out on his own a couple of years ago (just into two seperate bedrooms...both of my children do actually live under my roof).  He has been so excited to get a new roommate and has been eagerly helping me put together a new room.  We have matching bedspreads and are going to be decorating around these fun colors!

The lime green "t-shirt" is actually a pillow that Cal made at school from an old shirt of his that didn't fit anymore.  Thanks Mrs Cameron!

Big Week!!

It has been months since my last post.  There have been many times that I have thought about it, and even had big ideas about what to write about...I just never could quite make it to the follow through.  We have had many hold ups and snags, and to be honest, I was getting very discouraged.  I didn't want to write because in my eyes, nothing had changed.  BUT, this week things changed!  On Valentine's day we finally got to file our I-600A.  An I-600A is just another government paper of random letters and numbers that I knew nothing about until we entered into this process.  Now, I get so excited saying those all-important letters and numbers.  Once we recieve our approval and fingerprints from the US government, we can send our dossier across the ocean to Ukraine! 
People's favorite question is, "what does your timeline look like?''  Honestly, I have absolutely no idea, and I try not to even speculate.  One thing that I have been trying to learn is that when come up with my own time-table, I am never content to rest in the plans that God has for us and for Artyom.  All I do know is that this week, we did something. And, this week was a good week. 

                                Cal sending our I-600A.  He has hard time containing his excitment this week!

A couple of weeks ago, we got an unexpected update picture of Artyom.  It did a lot to revive our spirit and keep us pushing forward.